can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
