I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
it glows. i had to have it.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
