So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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