Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
honey bunches of taint.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
