I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
