Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
