I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
