why didn't you poke me back
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
