I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
