i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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