Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
