hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
