He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
