Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
