I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
