i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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