I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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