i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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