bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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