We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
