I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
