We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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