if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just invented taco cereal.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
