I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
