I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
