is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
