It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She's like a pop up book from hell.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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