I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
