i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
