apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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