Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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