Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Randomize
