Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
