there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
