Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
