So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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