"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Randomize