Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
