Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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