Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize