help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize