Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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