He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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