it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
