I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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