She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
