why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
