lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
