No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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