How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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