Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
