so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
