Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
