nut hugger
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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