We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
