I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize