He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
