I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize