He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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