I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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