I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize