Life is so much better after having sex.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
