i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize