Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I deserve this hangover.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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