So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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