You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
