I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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