it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just found puke in my bra..
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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