you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
